Its been three weeks since I last saw you and kissed your lips. Two weeks since I last spoke to you. I have two weeks to go before I can talk to you again and six more weeks till I get to hold you in my arms again.
Everyday I still think of things I want to tell you, I only wish that I could. I’m in love with you and you don’t even know. There’s a strange process you go through when you realize that the love you have for someone isn’t reciprocated. It’s okay though, I love you enough for the both of us, and I have even patience to wait for years.
I wanted to talk to you yesterday, I understand that Father’s Day must be hard for you. I remember that night that you opened up to me about your past. That was the night I decided that I was in it for the long haul, that this wasn’t just a fling. I want make you happy and not to fill the open hole, but to plant a flower in it because that’s what you deserve.
I just want to be with you. I just want to drown in the thoughts that haunt your mind. I want to be what you think about at night when you have finished going through another hard day. Because the truth is I know I’m always going to love you more than you love me. I think about you every minute of my day. Constantly wondering what you are doing, just hoping for a moment of some connection between us. I know you are hurting and I know you are lost but I want to help you. I want to find you and guide you back to the world, where you dont have to be drunk to be okay. I want to be your rock, your island in an ocean of confusion and sadness.
Please just let me in. I’m here to stay I promise. I would never want to be anywhere else.
I think I might finally know what I want to do with my life… And it scares me because I’m realizing how fast time really is flying by.
I know I am in a destructive relationship but I keep going back to him. Like I cant stop myself…I just keep going back. I’m just really happy with him, even though he sometimes fucks me over and I’ve accepted that it will happen again….
I feel privileged to know how weird you are behind closed doors. Its like I know this little secret about you that only I am allowed to know. I love it so much because you are just as weird as I am, and thats difficult to accomplish.
I think my sister was raped and is lying to us all so we don’t worry..